Christian Testimony | The Aftermath of My Husband’s Affair

Christian Testimony | The Aftermath of My Husband’s Affair 

December 12, 2018

Lu Lu Anhui Province

In the middle of the night around 12:00 a.m., Lu Lu was staring at the computer screen, not daring to believe that what it displayed was a list of her husband’s expenses from the last few months: a few hundred yuan on women’s clothing at a department store, over a thousand yuan on a bottle of imported alcohol from a high-end liquor store … Seeing this list of numbers, Lu Lu collapsed into the chair and felt a taste of despair for the first time in her life. She never could have imagined that her husband who had been through thick and thin with her would suddenly betray her. Her sister-in-law’s kind warning came to mind: “Lu Lu, aren’t you afraid that my brother will do something disrespectful to you while he’s away?” Her response was, “I couldn’t say what others might do, but your brother isn’t that kind of person.” Her air of confidence at that time surfaced in her memory—faced with the bitter truth in that moment, it really felt like a mockery. The truth, hard as nails, completely obliterated the last line of defense in Lu Lu’s heart, and tears rolled down her cheek one after another, like a string of pearls. She hoped so fervently that this was a delusion and so longed to return to the wonderful times of the past, to the nostalgia of their innocent love. …

What Is the Meaning of Christmas, and Are You Truly Worshiping the Lord Jesus?

What Is the Meaning of Christmas, and Are You Truly Worshiping the Lord Jesus?

December 8, 2018

By Siyuan

The Origins of Christmas

Every year, as Christmas approaches, shops on the street arrange a dazzling display of Christmas presents, with Santa Claus and Christmas trees, and so on. Festooned in trees and on buildings there are many-colored lights, and whole cities are decorated with lanterns and colored hangings, and everywhere there is joy and excitement. To Christianity, Christmas is a very special holiday, and several months before Christmas, many churches will begin to busy themselves preparing everything necessary for the Christmas holiday. On Christmas Day, the churches are filled, and brothers and sisters get involved in the celebrations, eating Christmas dinner, putting on performances and worshiping the Lord Jesus, and so on. Everyone’s face is flushed with happiness. However, when we get together in joyous gatherings to celebrate the Lord Jesus’ birth, do we understand the meaning of Christmas? Perhaps brothers and sisters will say, “The Lord Jesus was nailed upon the cross to redeem all mankind, and so as to remember and celebrate the Lord Jesus’ birth, Christians established Christmas. Though the specific day on which the Lord Jesus was born is not recorded in the Bible, Christmas gradually became a universal holiday in the wake of the expansion of Jesus Christ’s gospel.” We may have known this, but do we know God’s love and His will for us that was actually hidden behind the birth of the Lord Jesus? And how should we approach Christmas in a way that is after the Lord’s heart?

Christian Testimony | The Church of Almighty God | Back From the Brink (Part II)

Christian Testimony | The Church of Almighty God | Back From the Brink (Part II) 

February 27, 2018

Just when I was loitering at the gates of hell, the kingdom gospel of Almighty God reached my ears. When I saw these words of Almighty God: “Today, since I have led you to this point, I have made fitting arrangements, and have My own aims. If I were to tell you of them today, would you truly be able to know them? I am well acquainted with the thoughts of man’s mind and the wishes of man’s heart: Who has never looked for a way out for themselves? Who has never thought of their own prospects? Yet even though man is possessed of a rich and prismatic intellect, who was able to predict that, following the ages, the present would turn out as it has? Is this really the fruit of your own subjective efforts? Is this the payment for your tireless industry? Is this the beautiful tableau envisaged by your mind? If I did not guide all mankind, who would be able to separate themselves from My arrangements and find another way out? Is it the thoughts and wishes of man that have brought him to today? Many people go their whole lives without having their wishes fulfilled. Is this really because of a fault in their thinking? Many people’s lives are filled with unexpected happiness and satisfaction. Is this really because they expect too little? Who of the whole of mankind is not cared for in the eyes of the Almighty? Who does not live in the midst of the Almighty’s predestination? Whose birth and death come from their own choices? Does man control his own fate?” (“The Eleventh Utterance” of God’s Utterances to the Entire Universe in The Word Appears in the Flesh) I was utterly convinced. I really felt that our fates are definitely not in our own hands. I thought back over the previous years, and how I’d planned and calculated for my own career but nothing had worked out for me. I’d been dedicated to earning lots of money and living a superior lifestyle, but not only did I not have money but I’d also wasted heaps of it. And I’d never expected that I—who was once someone of note—could end up in such a pitiful state of insolvency. Why was it that I’d worked so hard for my future and yet had encountered one failure after another? It was because the fate of every person is not in their own hands but is in the hands of God. Everything is ruled over and predestined by God; good fortune or misfortune is all controlled by God. From the bottom of my heart I could feel that this was all God’s words, and I couldn’t help but cry out to Almighty God: “O God! In the past I didn’t know You. I tried to rely on myself and the influence I had but ended up in a hopeless situation. Today, I have finally understood that the fate and survival of every person is in Your hands. That I can arrive at this point in my life is also part of Your governance and predestination, because without this situation I wouldn’t have come before You. O God! I thank You for saving me from the brink of death and giving me the courage to face life anew. In future I will submit to Your arrangements for the path in life I should follow.”

After that, I started my church life. The environment in The Church of Almighty God was completely different from that of the outside world: The brothers and sisters had simple, straightforward relationships with each other, and treated each other honestly without any sign of pretense, infighting or scheming. During the gatherings, all the brothers and sisters read God’s words; sang hymns in praise of God; honestly and openly fellowshiped their own experiences, deficiencies and difficulties; and also shared their understanding of God’s words. I felt that every gathering I attended was novel and full of vitality. There was no separation or suspicion between the brothers and sisters; everyone understood each other and knew each other well. I felt an unprecedented sense of relief and freedom there and always felt relaxed and happy in their company. At the same time, God also guided me to understand why I had lived in such suffering over the past few decades. I read these words of Almighty God: “There is an enormous secret in your heart. You never become aware of it because you have been living in a world without light shining. Your heart and your spirit have been taken away by the evil one. Your eyes are covered by darkness; you cannot see the sun in the sky, nor the twinkling star in the night. Your ears are clogged with deceptive words and you hear not the thunderous voice of Jehovah, nor the sound of the rushing waters from the throne. You have lost everything that should have belonged to you and everything that the Almighty bestowed upon you. You have entered an endless sea of bitterness, with no strength of a rescue, no hope of survival, left only to struggle and to bustle about…. From that moment, you are doomed to be afflicted by the evil one, kept far away from the blessings of the Almighty, out of reach of the provisions of the Almighty, and you embark on a road of no return. … You sleep deeply in the hands of the evil one, who has lured you into the boundless realm, with no direction, with no road signs. Henceforth, you have lost your original purity, innocence, and started to hide from the care of the Almighty. The evil one steers your heart in every matter and becomes your life. You no longer fear him, no longer avoid him, no longer doubt him. Instead, you treat him as the God in your heart. You begin to enshrine him, worship him, be inseparable like a shadow of his, and mutually commit to each other in life and death. You have no idea at all from where you originate, why you exist, or why you die” (“The Sighing of the Almighty” in The Word Appears in the Flesh). “Satan corrupts people through the education and influence of the national governments and the famous and great. Their nonsense has become man’s life and nature. ‘Everyone for himself and the devil take the hindmost’ is a well-known satanic saying that has been instilled into everyone and become the human life. There are some other words of life philosophy that are also like this. Satan educates people through each nation’s fine traditional culture and causes humanity to fall into and be engulfed in an expansive abyss of destruction, and in the end people are destroyed by God because they serve Satan and resist God” (“How to Know Man’s Nature” in Records of Christ’s Talks). So the reason why I’d exhausted myself and made myself bitter while fumbling around in the darkness the last few decades was because I’d been living by Satan’s rules of life, such as, “One’s destiny is in his own hand,” “Money makes the world go round,” “Everyone for himself and the devil take the hindmost,” “Flattery will get you everywhere,” etc. By living by these satanic philosophies I had no idea of the existence of God, and didn’t know that God rules over and arranges the fate of everyone. I drifted with the tides of this dark world, and had no direction in my life or principles of behavior. I certainly couldn’t see that this dark world is part of Satan’s domain, and that human society is full of Satan’s temptation, ensnarement and deceit. In order to make money in this dark and evil world, I learned how to flatter and toady up to those in charge, and even illegally used shoddy materials in my construction projects. My conscience disappeared bit by bit, and I was left without an iota of integrity. The deeper I slipped into those evil ways the less I felt like a human being. In the end, I didn’t make any money and was left with a pile of debt, and felt so helpless that I almost committed suicide. I thought of that team leader who had killed himself because of his huge debts—wasn’t he a sacrificial offering to Satan? And how many other similar tragedies are being played out every day of every year? At that point I realized that the reason why people get in such a state is because of the harm caused by Satan’s poisons and because of the worldly trends brought on by Satan’s rule. When I thought of all this, a surge of gratitude for God filled my heart and I was so grateful for God’s mercy and salvation. God had saved me from the dark world and brought me back to God’s house where I could enjoy His care and protection.

After a period of time, I once again had to face my creditors, and my heart was in great turmoil. When I thought of all my debts, I once again wanted to take on construction projects but I was also aware that my abilities didn’t match my ambitions. My high blood pressure problem flared up again, and I was at a total loss about what to do. At one of the gatherings, one of the brothers read some of God’s words for me: “True faith in God means experiencing the words and work of God based on a belief that God holds sovereignty over all things. So you shall be freed of your corrupt disposition, shall fulfill the desire of God, and shall come to know God. Only through such a journey can you be said to believe in God” (Preface to The Word Appears in the Flesh). The brother then fellowshiped this: “Since we believe in God then we should have true faith in God. From the bottom of our hearts we must believe in God’s authority and ability to control everything. We should hand everything in our lives over to God. Most importantly, we should learn to rely on God, look up to God, experience God’s work, seek God’s leadership, and not hurry around busily thinking we can do it all ourselves. Paying off debts is something that all reasonable and conscientious people do, so we have to face up to this problem bravely. We must believe that everything is in God’s hands; that there isn’t any mountain that we can’t climb. Concerning your debts, you should pray more to God and seek His intention.”

Through the assistance of the brother I now had a way to practice. I found a job on a construction site nearby that didn’t interfere with my attending gatherings or fulfilling my duties, and began to earn some money to pay off my debts. I no longer just relied upon myself to get ahead. When my creditors came to me for money I would practice being honest with them and give them whatever I had. I was also able to make some money by selling the crops that I harvested from my farmland. I made a solemn promise to all of my creditors that I definitely would repay all my debts, and after that they didn’t make life difficult for me anymore. When the bank sent people to push me to repay the loan I prayed to God and entrusted Him to deal with it. If I had had to do time in prison because of being unable to repay that large loan I would have done so willingly because that would have been God’s decision. I was willing to obey all of God’s orchestrations and arrangements. And it was when I submitted to God while experiencing His work that I saw how miraculous His deeds can be in the way He opened up a way forward for me: Soon after, the government announced that all bank loans taken out before 1993 would not have to be repaid because none of them had been digitally recorded on computers and incomplete information meant that some of the loans could never be repaid. I thanked and praised God with all my heart, because my loan was pre-1993 and so my debt of several hundred thousand yuan was canceled. I thought: “If I had to earn that amount I’d probably die of exhaustion before I made it all.” This allowed me to personally experience that the fate of every person really is in God’s hands, as is described in these words of God: “The fate of man is controlled by the hands of God. You are incapable of controlling yourself: Despite always rushing and busying about for himself, man remains incapable of controlling himself. … And so, regardless of how He chastises and judges man, it is all for the sake of man’s salvation. Even though He strips man of his fleshly hopes, it is for the sake of purifying man, and the purification of man is for the sake of his existence. The destination of man is in the hands of the Creator, so how could man control himself?” (“Restoring the Normal Life of Man and Taking Him to a Wonderful Destination” in The Word Appears in the Flesh).

During my experiences I was able to further verify the reality of Almighty God’s work and my faith became more solid. In the years that followed, I continued to go to gatherings and fulfill my duties while also working for local construction teams to make the money to repay my debts. Whenever I met someone who had enough humanity to be a suitable candidate to hear the gospel, I would talk about it with them, and I also brought some of the people I had good relationships with before God. Although I was still busy every day, life was different because I no longer relied upon Satan’s philosophies and rules. I no longer followed the evil trends of the world and sought to have a superior lifestyle. Instead, I lived in submission to God’s rule and according to His requirements, conducting myself according to the truth, being honest and humane, fearing God and shunning evil. This way of behaving felt open and straightforward, and I began to feel more substantial and brighter inside. Gradually, I began to recover my conscience and rationality and the various ailments that I suffered from began to disappear. This year I turned 75, but I’m healthy, have my wits about me, and have repaid all of my debts. People who know me well all say they admire me and that I’m blessed. But I know without doubt that all this is Almighty God’s salvation and benevolence. It was Almighty God who saved me from the brink of death, who gave me back my life in my hour of need, and who pointed out the right direction for the rest of my life. During all these experiences I truly felt that without God’s leadership people will inevitably be harmed and swallowed up by Satan. Only Almighty God can save people; only Almighty God’s words can lead people away from the bondage of sin and show us how to live as true human beings. Only by accepting the truths that Almighty God has expressed and submitting to and worshiping Almighty God can mankind live in true happiness and have a good future and final destination!

Christian Testimony | The Church of Almighty God | Back From the Brink (Part I)

Christian Testimony | The Church of Almighty God | Back From the Brink (Part I)

February 27, 2018

By Zhao Guangming, China

At the beginning of the 1980s, I was in my 30s and was working for an architectural design company. I considered myself to be young and fit, treated people with loyalty and respect, and did my work responsibly. My architect skills were also top-notch, and I was sure that I was going places in the company and that once my career really took off I would be living like a prince. This was my goal and so I stayed with the company and worked hard for many years. But despite my impeccable caliber, in both character and professional skills, my efforts never seemed to be recognized by the company, which is something I never understood. The top salary grade in our company was grade 6, but my salary never got above grade 3. I watched a number of colleagues, who had neither my skills nor my time served in the company, get pay raises, but it never happened to me. I was puzzled and resentful about why they got raises and I didn’t. Finally, one of the colleagues who I got along with quite well gave me a tip: “In this company, the most important thing is to butter up the manager by giving him gifts at Chinese New Year and other festivals.” On hearing this, I finally understood the real reason why I had been overlooked by the company, and the injustice of it made me furious. But although I hated those ass kissers in the company, and had even less time for the colleagues who did little work but still got ahead by using underhand methods, I needed to firm up my standing and so I had to adapt to these unwritten rules. So the next time Chinese New Year came along I “expressed my heartfelt good wishes” to the manager and was immediately promoted to team leader.

Christian Testimonies | The Power of Prayer—Witnessing a Miracle Amidst Despair

Christian Testimonies | The Power of Prayer—Witnessing a Miracle Amidst Despair

December 7, 2018

By Zhao Zhihan, China

As we journey through life, every one of us will experience some extraordinary events which become inscribed on our memory and will never be forgotten. The experience that has left me with the deepest impression was the time my husband was involved in a car accident, when no one knew whether he would pull through or not, and the days that followed, during which I felt at a complete loss and was at the end of my tether. But what was different for me was that, because God was with me and I had His guidance, I thus had a support, and through praying to God and relying on Him, I witnessed a miracle in the midst of my despair. During that disastrous time, what I gained more was understanding of God’s authority and sovereignty, and a true appreciation of God’s love …

Christian Testimony | The Truth Showed Her the Way to Get Along With Others (Part 3)

Christian Testimony | The Truth Showed Her the Way to Get Along With Others (Part 3)

September 29, 2018

Xiaomo

Soon after, as the duty became more difficult, the four people in Jiandan’s group came across a new problem. While they were checking the articles, they would often come across some issues they didn’t thoroughly understand and sometimes they would get quite worried. When they discussed the issues together, if one person suggested a solution and the other two were all of the same opinion, they would not wait for the fourth person to have their say. Jiandan felt that if the majority held the same view then it should be right, and that by doing this they could be considered to be performing their duty in accordance with principles.

Christian Testimony | The Truth Showed Her the Way to Get Along With Others (Part 2)

Christian Testimony | The Truth Showed Her the Way to Get Along With Others (Part 2)

September 29, 2018

Xiaomo

Soon after, three new sisters came to work in Jiandan’s group. Jiandan thought of how she was now the person in the group who had done this duty the longest, and in her heart she silently told herself to be sure to take real responsibility for the work, to pick up the pace with finalizing these articles and to remedy her lingering regrets.

Christian Testimonies | The Truth Showed Her the Way to Get Along With Others (Part 1)

Christian Testimonies | The Truth Showed Her the Way to Get Along With Others (Part 1)

September 29, 2018

Xiaomo

Jiandan sat on her chair, staring at the number of articles on the worksheet in complete amazement and muttering to herself: “Why is there such a backlog of unchecked articles? Could Sister Liu Yan be in a bad state? But even if she is, she mustn’t let that interfere with her work.”

Jiandan was a conscientious, responsible person. When she saw a problem like this come up in work, she started to worry. She had initially wanted to call Sister Liu Yan over to ask her what exactly was going on. But thinking that if she started asking Liu Yan about her work when she herself had only just come back from performing another task somewhere else, she worried what Liu Yan would think of her. The two of them had always gotten along well together, so it would be terrible if this matter caused upset between them!

Christian testimonies | How to Appropriately Deal With Other People?

Christian testimonies | How to Appropriately Deal With Other People?

September 25, 2018

Siyuan

One day, Brother Chen in the church came to me. He said he wanted to practice spreading the gospel in his spare time and offer some of his strength to the gospel work. Due to my past interactions with Brother Chen, I knew that he had a very arrogant disposition. I had some prejudices and biases against him. Furthermore, I thought that those that spread the gospel must have a certain level of knowledge of the Bible. They must be able to communicate the truth clearly and be able to answer the questions of the gospel targets. I felt that he did not possess these qualities, and so I did not agree to it. When he saw this, he said, “Based on my abilities, do you think that I can be trained to spread the gospel? Wouldn’t I be wasting my talent if I do not spread the gospel?” When I heard this, I felt very fed up and I thought, “Do you think that spreading the gospel is something that is very easy? If you do not have genuine talent, do you think that you can fulfill this duty well? You think too highly of yourself. You simply do not have an accurate evaluation of yourself!” Afterward, I talked about Brother Chen’s situation with a few other brothers and sisters so that they had discernment of him. Some of the brothers and sisters, after hearing what I had to say, also said how Brother Chen had manifested some arrogance in his behaviors. This confirmed for me that the opinions I had of Brother Chen were indeed accurate. I was never aware that because I did not seek the truth and clearly see Brother Chen’s condition, I was blindly making comment on him. I was basically judging him and colluding with others.

One time, when I was attending a meeting with Brother Chen, after we had finished reading the work arrangement, he said, “I think that the leaders and co-workers do not have much reality of the truth. Their fellowship is quite blind and they are unable to resolve the practical difficulties that our brothers and sisters face. It is great that we can watch a movie in the meetings. This will be beneficial for us to understand the truth.” He continued to say, “When I was fulfilling this duty in the beginning, because I did not understand the principles, I had many difficulties. However, now that I have a grasp of the principles, I feel fulfilling this duty is going much more smoothly. The result of my work is particularly good. …” When I heard him say this, I was very disgusted and contradicted him in my heart. I thought, “You are really good at seizing the opportunity. You are using the fellowship of the man used by the Holy Spirit to belittle us leaders and co-workers. At the same time, you haven’t forgotten to bear witness to yourself and show yourself off. You are truly arrogant and irrational. …” Then, we discussed how we would communicate the five questions in the next meeting. At this moment, Brother Chen offered to be in charge for three of the questions and he even proposed a certain person to be responsible for the remaining two questions. When I arranged for the group leader to take charge of the next meeting, he quickly asked the group leader in a suspicious manner, “Do you think you can handle it? Can you do it?” From the tone of his voice, it seemed like he thought that only he could take charge of the meeting. In regard to his behavior, I thought, “You are very irrational. Can you do this? You just want to use this opportunity as a platform to show yourself off to the brothers and sisters. You want to get all the attention but I won’t allow it.” In order to prevent him from achieving his objective, I used my “authority” to rearrange it so that he would not be in charge. Thinking about all of Brother Chen’s manifestations, I disliked him very much in my heart and my prejudices toward him became even more intense. Especially when I remembered that after I had communicated with him several times about his arrogant manifestations he only verbally acknowledged it and afterward he did not change, I felt that he was not ordinarily arrogant. He was excessively arrogant to the point that I felt he could never change and that he was beyond hope. And I even thought that he was so arrogant that he was basically not suited for fulfilling his present duty. I’d just replace him with somebody else.

After the meeting ended, when I reflected on each of the thoughts and ideas that I revealed during the meeting, my heart felt some reproach and great pain. I prayed to God, “O God! I have many thoughts and biases toward Brother Chen. I feel that he is very arrogant. Now, right when I hear him speak, my heart feels conflict and disgust. I even want to replace him. O God! I know that I am in a wrong state. However, I do not understand Your will and I do not know what aspect of the truth I should enter. O God, please enlighten and guide me.” After I finished praying, I thought about the contents of a sermon: “Does this sort of thinking exist in your hearts? When you think of someone, you first think of their weaknesses, and first think of the ways in which they are corrupt. Is it right? If you go on thinking this way, you will never be able to get along with others normally. … he genuinely believes in God, however, and desires to pursue truth. It won’t be long, therefore, before this corrupt aspect of him begins to change, and disappear. This is the way we must see the issue, we must see issues with a vision for growth. We must not see a person’s weakness, then condemn him forever, saying that the person will be this way lifelong, that he is this sort of person. To do this would be judging people. This action of yours would be to define other people! In saving people, God has not spoken this way, saying, evidently humans are corrupted to this extent, it is pointless to save them. This would be the end of the human race. Even God does not see it this way. So we are all pursuing truth now. We all desire to pursue truth, and we believe that, at a minimum, if we keep on with our pursuit, within a few years, we will certainly be able to change somewhat, and ultimately be completely able to achieve change of disposition and be perfected by God. You all have this kind of faith, don’t you? Since you have this sort of faith, you therefore ought to believe that other people also have this kind of faith” (“How to Establish Normal Interpersonal Relationships” in Sermons and Fellowship on Entry Into Life (I)). This sermon revealed my condition and I started feeling shame. I saw how arrogant and conceited my disposition was. I acted as if I had the truth and I was able to judge a person accurately at one glance and see through to his essence. By relating the words in the sermon to myself, I realized: From my interactions with Brother Chen, I felt that he was young and proud when I saw him expressing his arrogant disposition in the words he was saying and the things that he was doing. I felt that he had absolutely no self-knowledge. I even judged in my heart that he was an arrogant person that was completely irrational and had no hope of change. That was why I would never treat him fairly or appropriately. God saves people to the greatest extent possible, yet I have judged Brother Chen in every respect. Today God’s revelation of me has caused me to see my arrogance and conceitedness clearly. Using my perspectives and beliefs as the truth and the standards by which I weigh people is very irrational. Do I have the principles and correct standards by which to view and judge others? Is my method of viewing and judging people in accordance with the truth? I am lower than a maggot. How am I qualified to judge and condemn other people? God’s words say: “The people God saves have corrupt dispositions; they were corrupted by Satan, and are not flawless or perfect human beings, nor do they live in a vacuum” (“Life Entry Is Most Important to Believing in God” in Records of Christ’s Talks). We all have not yet been perfected and we are still in the process of changing through our experience of God’s work. Even though we have expressed our corrupt dispositions or committed some transgressions when we fulfill our duties, as long as we sincerely believe in God and pursue the truth, we will be able to change. However, I do not see others through a lens of development. Instead, I judge others with my own perspectives and corrupt disposition. I am indeed very arrogant.

And I read another passage of God’s words: “For example, in relation to the aspect of getting along with others, what is the principle behind how one treats one’s brothers and sisters, whether it be those with status or those without status, ordinary brothers and sisters, or all levels of leadership? You cannot treat your brothers and sisters in the same way as the unbelievers treat others; you must treat them fairly and reasonably. You cannot be close to this one, but not that one; you cannot form cliques or collude with others; you cannot bully someone because you have taken a dislike to them, and fawn on those who are strong—this is what is meant by this principle. You must be principled in the way you deal with other people; you must treat them all fairly. To bring those who you think are pretty good over to your side and exclude those who are hard to approach—isn’t this an unprincipled way of going about things? What method is this? This is the life philosophy of the unbelievers and it is the principle behind how unbelievers treat other people. This method is of a satanic disposition, and it is satanic logic. What should the principle be of the way people treat each other in God’s family? (To fairly treat each and every brother and sister.) How do you treat them fairly? (To help others with a loving heart, to be tolerant and to be patient.) Yes, everyone has small faults and foibles and they all have some things that are characteristic to them; they can all be self-righteous, weak and lacking. You should therefore help others with a loving heart, be tolerant, be forbearing and don’t be too harsh or make a fuss over every tiny detail. If someone is young, or they haven’t believed in God for very long, or they have only recently started to perform their duty, or if they have some special requirements and all you do is obsess over it and not let it go—what is this called? This is called being harsh. You ignore the evil done by those false leaders and antichrists, and yet when you see the small shortcomings and small faults of your brothers and sisters you don’t help them, but instead you exclude them, make a fuss over those things and judge them behind their backs, making more people oppose them, exclude them and ostracize them—what kind of way is this to do things? This is not treating people fairly, but acting based on one’s personal preferences. Being unable to treat people correctly—this is a corrupt satanic disposition and it is a transgression! When people do things, God is watching. However you do things and however you think in your heart, God is watching! If you are to master principles, you must first understand the truth. Once you have understood the truth which tells you how to treat people, you will then know what way to treat people is God’s will; if you don’t understand the truth, then you will certainly not understand God’s will. How you are to treat people is clearly told, clearly shown and pointed out in God’s word; the attitude with which God treats man is the attitude which people should adopt in their treatment of one another. How does God treat each and every person? Some people are of immature stature, or they are young, or have not believed in God for very long. As for some people, the essence of their nature is not bad or malicious, it is only that they are somewhat ignorant or lacking in caliber, or that they have been affected too much by society. They haven’t entered into the reality of the truth and have not yet crossed the threshold, and so it is difficult for them to avoid doing ignorant things or expressing their ignorance. But God doesn’t see these things—He sees only their hearts. If they have resolved to enter into the reality of the truth, they take this correct direction and have this objective, then God watches them, waits for them and gives them the time and the opportunities to allow them to enter. It is not that God knocks them down with one stroke or beats them the moment they make a mistake. God has never treated people like this. This being said, if people treat each other like this, isn’t it their corrupt disposition? It is their corrupt disposition. You must look at how God treats ignorant people, how He treats those with immature stature, how He treats the common expressions of man’s corrupt disposition and how He treats those who are malicious. He has different ways of treating different people and He also has different ways of managing different people’s different conditions. You must understand the truth of these things. Once you have understood these truths, you can then know how to experience them” (“To Attain the Truth, You Must Learn From the People, Matters, and Things Around You” in Records of Christ’s Talks). God’s words have described the principles and ways to properly treat people very clearly. They have also described how to approach antichrists, evil people and that God’s attitude toward these people is full of hatred, curses and punishment. As for those whose stature is tiny, who are of poor caliber and have all sorts of corrupt dispositions and deficiencies, as long as they truly believe in God, are willing to pursue the truth, can accept the truth and can put the truth into practice, God’s attitude toward them is one of love, mercy and salvation. From God’s words, I can see that God has principles and standards in regard to how He treats each person. God demands that we love those whom God loves and hate those whom God hates. We must be tolerant and forgiving to the brothers and sisters who truly believe in God. We must give them an opportunity to repent and change. We cannot knock them down with one stroke when they have expressed their corrupt disposition. This is not consistent with God’s principles and methods of treating people nor is it in accordance with God’s will. I started to think of how Brother Chen was normally burdened in fulfilling his duties, how he had a sense of responsibility and how he was able to do some practical work. I never considered his strengths. Instead, I grabbed hold of his corruption and did not let go of it and I judged him and condemned him. My humanity is truly malicious!

At this time, I thought of a passage of God’s words: “The attitude and way in which God treated Adam and Eve is akin to how human parents show concern for their own children. It’s also like how human parents love, look after, and care for their own sons and daughters—real, visible, and tangible. Instead of putting Himself in a high and mighty position, God personally used skins to make clothing for man. It doesn’t matter whether this fur coat was used to cover their modesty or to shield them from the cold. In short, this clothing used to cover man’s body was personally made by God with His own hands. Rather than creating it simply through the thought or miraculous methods as people imagine, God had legitimately done something man thinks God could not and should not do. This may be a simple thing some might not even think as worthy of mentioning, but it also allows all those who follow God but were previously full of vague ideas about Him to gain an insight into His genuineness and loveliness, and to see His faithful and humble nature. It makes insufferably arrogant people who think they are high and mighty bow their conceited heads in shame in the face of God’s genuineness and humbleness” (“God’s Work, God’s Disposition, and God Himself I” in The Word Appears in the Flesh). Each verse of God’s words warmed my heart. I could feel God’s concern and empathy for people and that His care and solicitude were real. When Adam and Eve disobeyed God’s command and ate the fruit from the tree of knowledge of good and evil, God did not lecture them, scold them or even get angry at them. Instead, He was considerate of their immature stature and personally made clothing out of skins for them to wear. God is truly lovely and His disposition is truly good. His attitude toward corrupt people and people with transgressions is waiting with patience. Due to His mercy, He is considerate of man’s ignorance, weakness and immaturity. He gives man time and the opportunity to repent. While He waits, He continuously provides man with truth so that he can enter into it. God’s salvation for man is so real. He is faithful and His love for man is actual, not fake or pretentious at all, tangible and appreciable. When I thought about this, tears welled up in my eyes and started to flow. I started to reflect on all my experiences. In the work of adjusting the leaders and workers, since I was not abiding by principles, I did some things that interrupted and disturbed the work of the church. However, God did not eliminate me or punish me. Instead, He used the report that my brothers and sisters wrote to make me reflect upon myself, repent and change so that I could fulfill my duties according to principles. When I was negative and weak, God used His words to comfort and support me. He also moved the brothers and sisters who were at my side into communicating God’s intentions with me. This strengthened me. During times when I committed transgressions or when I made mistakes in my work, I lived in misunderstanding and guarding against God and I became negative and slacking in my work. At such times, God enlightened and guided me with His words so that I could understand His intentions, see His love and see His salvation. This rescued me from the midst of negativity and misunderstanding. … Hasn’t God already done this on me a long time ago? When I saw God’s limitless love for me, my obstinate and numb heart was melted by God’s sincere love. I prayed a prayer of repentance to God, “O God! I have disobeyed and resisted You time and time again. However, You still treat me with love and tolerance and You show understanding for my weaknesses. Time and time again, You used words to enlighten me, guide me, support me and nourish me. You have led me step by step up to today. I am not worthy of You expending so much care and effort in saving me. O God! Your love for me is inexpressible. At the same time that you wait patiently for me to change, You also give me opportunities to repent. All I wish is that from now on, I will practice in accordance with Your will and demands. I hope to rely on the truth and principles to treat each brother and sister that truly believes in You.”

Then, I read another sermon which said: “For example, you are a leader, and you should be responsible for the brothers and sisters. Suppose there is a brother or sister who does not pursue the truth, and is not going the right way. What should you do? You must help this person. This help includes pruning them and dealing with them. It includes censure and criticism. This is the way to help. All of this is love. Is it necessary to coax them along or use a consulting tone? Not necessarily. If there is a need for pruning and dealing with them, do it. Expose what should be exposed. This is because you are a leader and a worker. If you don’t help, who will? This is the duty that you should fulfill” (“How One Must Experience God’s Work in Order to Achieve Salvation and Be Perfected” in Sermons and Fellowship on Entry Into Life (VI)). From this sermon, I learned that a leader or a worker who truly has the reality of the truth treats his brothers and sisters with principles. He knows what his responsibility and commission are. He is able to rely on the principles and the truth to deal with people according to their nature and essence. He is able to practically help people based on their corruptions and deficiencies. He knows when he should help them with a loving heart, when to strictly deal with and prune them and when to rebuke them. He is able to behave appropriately, have principles and will not haphazardly treat the brothers and sisters who have expressed corruption as enemies. I began to think again of how I treated Brother Chen. When I saw him reveal his arrogant disposition, I did not help or support him in a practical manner. I did not dissect his arrogant nature in order to help him achieve a knowledge of the essence of his nature or help him see clearly the dangerous consequences if his arrogant disposition did not change. Instead, I haphazardly judged, excluded and condemned him. I even disseminated biases against him behind his back. I did not exhibit any tolerance or patience nor did I treat him with a loving heart. At this moment, I became clearer about God’s will and the path of practice. As a result, I went and found Brother Chen. I pointed out his problems and offered my help and support. At the same time, I also dealt with and pruned him. I dissected his incorrect perspectives on pursuit and the wrong path he was taking. I also fellowshiped about God’s holy essence and His disposition that cannot be offended. Thank God for His guidance. Through my communications with him, Brother Chen gained some understanding of his own arrogant nature and the corruption that he had expressed. He said, “Even though I also know that I am very arrogant, I often just verbally acknowledge it. I have never dissected my own arrogant nature in depth nor have I truly despised it. Today you have pointed these things out to me. Only now do I discover that my own condition is very terrible and dangerous. I do not have God within my heart and I do not respect anyone. I always feel that I am correct. Especially when the work produces results, not only have I stolen God’s glory, I am even more arrogant and conceited because I feel that I am a terrific person. I am on the path of the antichrist. I am doing evil deeds and resisting God. Today, thanks to your warning and help, it urges me to do self-reflection and offers me an opportunity to repent and change. …” When I heard him say this, it really touched my heart. I deeply felt that I had not fulfilled my duties well and that I did not have a compassionate heart. I had not given help or support to my brother. Instead, I seized upon his corruption and condemned him. It is God’s work that has saved me, making me see clearly that I have an arrogant and malicious nature. God’s work has also reversed my absurd perspective. I read a sermon of the above, which said: “It can be said that those people who really love the truth and who have the will to pursue being perfected all have a wildly arrogant and self-righteous disposition. As long as they are able to accept the truth and to accept pruning and dealing and are able to absolutely obey the truth, no matter what the circumstances, then this type of people can achieve salvation and be perfected. In fact, there are no people who are not wildly arrogant who are truly of good caliber and really have the will. This is a fact. God’s chosen people must be able to differentiate. They must not establish that someone is not a good person and cannot be saved and perfected because they are extremely arrogant and self-righteous. No matter how wildly arrogant the person is, as long as they are of good caliber and can pursue the truth, then they are people whom God wants to perfect. The conditions for God perfecting people are mainly that one is a good person, of good caliber and in pursuit of the truth. If a person’s caliber is too poor and from start to finish they are unable to understand the truth, then even if their disposition is extremely meek and not at all arrogant, they are good-for-nothing and not worth perfecting. On this point, one needs to understand God’s intentions. If a person’s caliber is good, and they have the will and are not arrogant and self-righteous, then that is absolutely a guise or a sham surface appearance, for there is no such person. One must know that corrupt mankind has a wildly arrogant and self-righteous nature. This is an undeniable fact” (“Only People Who Really Accept and Obey God’s Judgment and Chastisement Are Truly Pursuing the Truth” in Collection of Sermons—Supply for Life). The sermon helped me understand clearly how I should deal with people who have arrogant disposition. I learned that it is possible for those who have an arrogant disposition to change. The key is whether they are able to pursue the truth and accept the truth. If they are able to accept the truth, accept God’s judgment and chastisement and accept dealing and pruning, they can absolutely change and be perfected by God. Now when I took another look at Chen’s condition, I realized that since he was young and he had not believed in God for very long and had not experienced much of God’s judgment and chastisement, his expressing an arrogant and conceited disposition is quite normal. We have been corrupted by Satan and we are under the control of an arrogant disposition, so we love to seek fame and to show off. This is a common characteristic of corrupt humanity. Haven’t I also frequently expressed arrogance and conceitedness? Why do I feel that I myself can change yet he cannot? Why are the standards I have set for myself lower than the standards that I have set for him? Doesn’t this mean that I am even more arrogant than him? This is not a fair way to treat him. When I realized this, I was able to let go of my biases and prejudices that I had against Brother Chen. I felt that the essence of his nature was not bad. He had the resolve to pursue the truth, and it was just that his arrogant disposition was a little bit more serious. I should help him with a loving heart and should allow him an opportunity and time to repent and change.

Thank God for His enlightenment and guidance. From this experience, I learned that those who live in corrupt disposition and do not treat others in accordance with the principles of God’s words and who are unable to properly treat the strengths and weakness of other people cannot treat others in a fair manner. Not only will they bring harm to their brothers and sisters, they will also delay their entry into life. They can even give others a hard time or punish them, taking the path of the antichrist. Thank God for the judgment and chastisement work that He performed on me during this time. When I was living in my rebellious disposition and was unable to treat my brother in accordance with the truth and the principles, God promptly exercised His judgment and chastisement to save me and caused me to recognize my own arrogant and malicious disposition. When I turned back to God, put myself aside and sought the truth, I gained God’s guidance and leadership—I understood from God’s words how to deal with people with principles. When I treated Brother Chen in accordance with God’s words, I truly experienced spiritual peace and stability. Furthermore, I was able to discover and learn from the brother’s strengths to make up for my deficiencies. I tasted the sweetness of putting God’s words into practice. It was God’s work and guidance that allowed me to understand some truths and to gain some understanding of my own corruption and deficiencies. At the same time, I truly feel that dealing with other people in accordance with the truth and principles is very important. I only wish to continue putting God’s word into practice when I fulfill my duties. I will treat each of my brothers and sisters in accordance with the truth of God’s words.

Christian Testimonies | God’s Love Guided Me Through the Trial of Illness

Christian Testimonies 

God’s Love Guided Me Through the Trial of Illness

November 16, 2018

By Yiming, Hubei Province

I Rejoice to Be Reunited With the Lord

I’m 78 this year and I have always suffered from headaches and diabetes. After I began to believe in the Lord in 2005, the illnesses that had beset me for years were eased; I perceived God’s love and thanked the Lord from the bottom of my heart. Two years later, a relative preached God’s work of the last days to me and he said that the Lord Jesus had returned as the incarnated Almighty God. He said that Almighty God was now performing a newer, higher stage of work on the foundation of the Lord Jesus’ work of redemption, and that Almighty God was using the truth to judge and chastise man, to cleanse our corruption, and God would lead those who ultimately attained salvation into His kingdom. I was thrilled to hear this news, and I thought to myself, “I never imagined that I would actually be able to welcome the Lord in my lifetime. If in the future I could be led by God into His kingdom, that would be wonderful indeed!” Thinking this, my heart became filled with a joy I couldn’t express, and I thanked God’s love and salvation. After a period of seeking and investigating, I became certain from reading God’s words that Almighty God was indeed the Lord Jesus returned, and very soon after I was living the church life and doing all I could to perform my duty within the church.

Illness Strikes, and My Deplorable Motives Are Exposed

In the twelfth month of the lunar calendar, I was just doing my housework when suddenly I felt a pressure on my heart and found it difficult to breathe, and I had a feeling like I couldn’t catch my breath and was about to suffocate. My husband saw that I was in distress and he hurriedly called our daughter and her husband, and they took me to the municipal hospital.

After a comprehensive checkup, the attending doctor said with an imposing expression: “You have a very serious illness. It’s a problem with your heart that could cause you to die at any minute. You need to be admitted to the hospital for treatment straight away.” The doctor’s words were like a bolt from the blue and I immediately started to panic. I thought, “How come I’ve suddenly contracted such a serious illness? And I could die at any minute? Since I started believing in God, I’ve always faithfully fulfilled my duty. How could God not protect me? If I die, I won’t be able to see the spectacular event of the manifestation of the beautiful kingdom, and I won’t be able to live with my daughters and my husband again. Will I not be able to share in the eternal happiness of the heavenly kingdom?” The more I thought, the more grieved I was, and a feeling of desolation crept into my heart. In pain, all I could do was keep praying to God in my heart: “O God! Such a serious illness has now befallen me, and I feel helpless and weak. I don’t know what to do and I don’t understand Your will. But I believe that all this is happening by Your leave, and I ask You to lead me and guide me.” After I’d prayed, these words of God came to my mind: “Now you all know that man’s belief in God is not solely for salvation of the soul and welfare of the flesh, nor is it to enrich his life through love of God, and so on. As it stands, if you love God for the sake of welfare of the flesh or momentary pleasure, then even if, in the end, your love for God reaches its peak and you ask for nothing, this love you seek is still an impure love and not pleasing to God. … This kind of love can only maintain the status quo; it cannot attain eternal constancy, nor take root in man. This kind of love is that of a flower which bears no fruit after it has bloomed then withered. In other words, after you have loved God once in such a way and there is no one to lead you on the path ahead, then you will fall. … Those gained by God are those who rebel against Satan and escape from its domain. Such men will be officially numbered among the people of the kingdom. This is how the people of the kingdom come to be. Are you willing to be this kind of person? Are you willing to be gained by God?” (“What Viewpoint Believers Ought to Hold” in The Word Appears in the Flesh).

The revelations of God’s words made me ashamed, for only then did I realize that it was actually my views on my belief in God that were wrong. Thinking back, I only started believing in the Lord Jesus so that my illnesses could be cured, and afterward I heard that one could get into the heavenly kingdom and enjoy eternal bliss if one accepted Almighty God’s work of the last days, and so in order to attain this blessing, I accepted the gospel of the last days and actively fulfilled my duty, believing that the more I worked for God the greater my blessings would be in the future. But now a life-threatening illness had befallen me and my hopes to be blessed were just about to be dashed. So I began to blame and misunderstand God and reason with God, believing that I’d abandoned everything and expended myself for God, and suffered and paid a price for God, and that God should therefore bless me and not allow me to contract such a serious illness. Only then did I see that my belief in God and the fulfilling of my duties had not been sincere, much less was I performing the duty of a created being to repay God’s love. Instead, I had gone by my own personal motives and my purpose was to gain blessings from God and enjoy the grace and blessings of God. My expending myself had also been done in order to bargain with God and to obtain the bliss of the heavenly kingdom in return. With such a tainted belief in God, no matter how faithful I appeared on the outside, it could not stand up against the facts; when a slight storm came along, I fell easily, like a pretty flower that is tender and beautiful for a short time, but which bears no fruit. I thought about how everything I had had come from God, and how I should fulfill my duty well to repay God’s love, and that this was a heavenly law. And yet I had used my duty to make bargains with God, filled with my own extravagant desires—was I not rebelling against God and trying to cheat Him by performing my duty in this way? I had not a shred of conscience or reason! I then understood God’s will. God was using this illness to test me and to enable me to see clearly the wrong motives behind my belief in God. He was using this refinement to purify and change me, to make me let go of the unreasonable demands I was making to God, to make me recover my conscience and reason, and worship the Creator standing firmly in the place of a created being. Thinking this, everything suddenly clicked into place and I thanked God for His salvation. Were it not for the salvation of God, I’d still be pursuing along the wrong path with nothing as my reward at the end of it, and I could then only be abandoned and sifted out by God. Through this illness, I also came to see that, if one doesn’t know God’s work and doesn’t know how God purifies and saves man, one is then unable to revere and obey God, and when things happen that is not to one’s liking, one will become dispirited, and will even misunderstand and blame God; my stature really was so pitifully small. Thinking of these things, my heart was filled with self-reproach and a feeling of indebtedness to God.

After I was admitted to hospital, I kept God in my thoughts at every moment, and I felt that my heart and God had become even closer. I thought of God’s words that say: “Almighty God is an all-powerful physician! To dwell in sickness is to be sick, but to dwell in the spirit is to be well. If you have but one breath, God will not let you die” (“The Sixth Utterance” of Utterances and Testimonies of Christ in the Beginning in The Word Appears in the Flesh). From within God’s words, I saw God’s authority and love, and in my heart I then said a prayer to God: “O God! Although I feel a little fainthearted now that this illness has befallen me, yet I believe that You are the Ruler of all things and my illness is also in Your hands. I wish to entrust myself to You and I believe that You are my pillar. I ask that You give me faith and enable me to submit to Your orchestrations and arrangements.”

Death Approaches and God’s Words Strengthen My Faith

Over ten days later, my illness was still no better. One day, I suddenly went into shock and had to be resuscitated. My son-in-law, seeing my condition worsen, had me transferred to the provincial hospital. The specialist at the provincial hospital looked at my medical transfer papers and arranged for me to be in the intensive care unit, and he gave me oxygen. I heard another patient say that all the patients admitted to the intensive care unit were going to die soon. I felt terrified when I heard them say this, and I thought to myself, “Has the doctor arranged for me to be here because I’m going to die soon?” As I thought this, I felt death approaching, and in my heart I felt inexplicable panic and unrest. That afternoon, they wheeled a man into the ward and an hour later he was dead. In that instant as I watched him being wheeled away, I felt myself being enshrouded by death and I felt that the next death would be my own. The more I thought about it, the more afraid I became: “Could it be that I really am going to die? But I don’t want to die, I want to …” I was utterly helpless and terrified, and all I could do was to call on God silently in my heart, asking Him to protect my heart. Just then, these words of God came to mind: “When Job lost his livestock that filled the mountains and untold masses of wealth, and his body became covered in sore boils, it was because of his faith. When he could hear the voice of Me, Jehovah, and see the glory of Me, Jehovah, it was because of his faith. That Peter could follow Jesus Christ, it was by his faith. That he could be nailed to the cross for My sake and give glorious testimony, it was also by his faith. When John saw the glorious image of the Son of man, it was by his faith. When he saw the vision of the last days, it was all the more by his faith. The reason why the so-called multitudes of the Gentile nations have obtained My revelation, and came to know that I have returned in the flesh to do My work among man, it is also because of their faith. All those who are smitten by My harsh words and who are saved—have they not done so because of their faith? People have received a lot of things through faith. What they receive is not always blessing…. For example, in the case of Job, he received Jehovah’s blessing as well as a scourge through faith. Whether you receive a blessing or suffer a scourge, both are blessed events” (“The Inside Truth of the Conquering Work (1)” in The Word Appears in the Flesh).

God’s words ignited my hopes and gave me faith. I thought of all the saints throughout the ages, like Job and Peter. When they were undergoing all manner of trials, though they were grieved to the core and in extreme pain at the time, and they couldn’t understand God’s will, they still had true faith in God. No matter what God did, they didn’t complain, but instead they obeyed the Creator standing firmly in their place as created beings, and in the end they obtained God’s blessings and witnessed God’s great power and sovereignty. For example, when Satan’s attacks and temptations came upon Job, his property was all taken away, his children met with disaster, and his whole body was covered in sores, and he suffered such a great degree of pain. And yet he had a place for God in his heart, and he would rather have cursed the day he was born than speak sinfully, and in the end, he spoke these words: “Shall we receive good at the hand of God, and shall we not receive evil?” (Job 2:10). What he held onto was true faith in and reverence for God. He was willing to obey whether God gave or God took away, and in the end God appeared to him, and Job’s love and faith for God were heightened. Although there was no comparison between the saints of all the ages and myself, it was also by God’s leave that this illness had befallen me now, and even more so it was by God’s love. God wanted to give me true faith and compassion, to allow me to experience His authority, and to make true knowledge of God arise in me. My life and death were in God’s hands and God would have the final say. All my worries were unnecessary, and they were the result of not believing in the sovereignty of God and always wanting to rule and orchestrate things by relying on my own strength. Thinking this, my heart was much calmed.

I Entrust My Life and Death to God and I Witness God’s Deeds

A few days later, my family asked the hospital specialist and a professor to give me a thorough examination. After consulting together, the specialist and the professor said that my illness was a coronary occlusion caused by my diabetes, that three arteries were now blocked and that I had to undergo surgery right away, otherwise, they said, I could die at any minute. But they said that even if I did have the operation, they could not guarantee that I would be cured.

My family then had me transferred to a specialist heart hospital. After examining me, the doctor said that I had to have the operation right away, but that the risks were great. When operating on cardiac problems caused by diabetes, the incisions do not heal well, the doctor said, and if the opening did not heal, the result would be even worse than not having the operation at all. Because this operation had to be done by grafting blood vessels from my thighs to bypass the blocked coronary arteries around my heart, if the operation failed then I could be paralyzed for the rest of my life. Also, things could go wrong at any moment during the operation and there was a possibility that I could die on the operating table. The doctor said it was difficult to predict whether I would ever wake up again after the operation, and he asked my family to consider carefully whether or not they really wanted me to have the operation. After hearing the doctor out, my daughter and son-in-law were hesitant, afraid that a lot of money could be spent, and I may still not be better afterward, and then not only would they have no money left, but I’d still not be cured either. My husband was also a believer in God and he knew that our lives and deaths were in God’s hands, and that it wasn’t human beings who have the final say. And so he said to the doctor without any hesitation, “You just concentrate on performing the operation, and whether my wife survives or not has nothing to do with this hospital. I can bear anything that happens.” My husband then signed the consent forms, and the doctor began to prepare for the operation.

After everything was ready, I was wheeled into the operating room. As I lay on the operating table, I thought of what the doctor had said, and sorrow and distress once again filled my heart. I thought, “If I really do become paralyzed, won’t that be like a living death? With my husband so old now, won’t I be a burden on him? Though I have several daughters, they all now have their own lives and families, so who could look after me all year round? If that really does happen, then I’ll just have to think of a way to end it all!” But then I thought that I could possibly die alone on the operating table, and my heart became even more troubled. Just then, I realized that my state of mind was wrong, and I hurriedly called on God to protect my heart and make me able to submit to His orchestrations and arrangements. At that moment, a passage of God’s words came to mind: “Who of the whole of mankind is not cared for in the eyes of the Almighty? Who does not live in the midst of the Almighty’s predestination? Whose birth and death come from their own choices? Does man control his own fate? Many people cry out for death, yet it is far away from them; many people want to be those who are strong in life and fear death, yet unbeknownst to them, the day of their demise draws near, plunging them into the abyss of death; many people look to the skies and sigh deeply; many people cry great, wailing sobs; many people fall amidst trials; and many people become the prisoners of temptation” (“The Eleventh Utterance” of God’s Utterances to the Entire Universe in The Word Appears in the Flesh). Yes! The God I believe in controls all things and the fate of every human being is in His hands. The time when each person is born and the time when they die are predestined by God, so wasn’t my fate also orchestrated by God? I thought of how, although I was resolved to bear witness to God, when I was faced with a real test I began worrying about my own life, death and future; I was both afraid of dying and worried about being paralyzed and becoming a burden on others, and I was thinking about ending my own life. By doing this, was I not desiring to orchestrate my own fate? How was this submitting to God’s sovereignty and arrangements? Did this not show that I had no faith in God? God gave me my life and whether I lived or died was in God’s hands. I knew I should not be timid, not be afraid, and not live amidst the deceits of Satan, but instead I should have faith in God, look to God and entrust Him with my life, my death and my future. Thinking this, I prayed to God in my heart: “O God! I will soon be having an operation. Although I’m still worried, yet I believe that the success or failure of this operation is in Your hands. Whether I live or die, I wish to submit to Your orchestrations and arrangements.” After praying, I felt much calmer. The doctor anesthetized me, and soon after I knew nothing more.

After the operation, I was moved to the intensive care unit for observation. When I woke up, already two days had passed, and my family told me joyfully that the operation had been very successful and that all I had to do now was recover. When I heard this, I felt very moved and I kept thanking God for His love! I knew that having survived the operation and that the operation had been so successful was all down to God’s wondrous protection! I became convinced from the bottom of my heart that our lives and deaths are controlled and orchestrated by God, and that this is a manifestation of God’s authority.

As I recovered, I listened to the loud cries of pain coming from some of the patients in the same ward, and some of them groaned constantly, but I felt no pain whatsoever. I knew clearly in my heart that the lack of pain from my incisions was entirely the wondrous deed of God. I perceived God’s love, and thanks and praise for God flowed forth from my heart. In the afternoon, the doctor in charge of my case came and asked me, “Madam, do your incisions hurt at all? Do you feel any discomfort?” And I replied, “Thank you for your concern, but I feel no discomfort.” Three days later, the doctor saw that I was recovering very well and had me transferred to a normal ward. I saw that patients without diabetes needed four or five days to recover after an operation before they were transferred out of the intensive care unit, and yet, despite my advanced years and having diabetes—meaning that my incisions were arguably a lot harder to heal—I was able to eat solid food only three days after my operation. I was also recovering faster than other people, and this was indeed God’s great power and His great love for me.

Over the days that followed, my husband often read God’s words to me and I pondered them, contemplating the salvation work God was performing on me, and I truly felt how real God’s love was. Despite having been tormented by illness so that I had been hovering between life and death, God was with me always and never left my side: Each time I became negative and weak and I lost my faith, God’s words led and guided me, giving me faith and strength. With God as my staunch backup, I would no longer be fainthearted and afraid; when I sincerely relied on God and became willing to wholly entrust myself to God and submit to His orchestrations and arrangements, God not only enabled me to survive, but He eased my bodily pain. This allowed me to see God’s wondrous deeds and feel God’s love. Only through this experience did I come to realize that although this incarnation of God doesn’t display signs and wonders in His work, the power of God’s words far exceeds the power of showing signs and wonders; God’s words are indeed the truth, they can become people’s life and they are both the principles and the direction for our actions.

After some time, my incisions healed very well and, whereas patients who had had the same operation as me still couldn’t move, I was able to walk outside supported by my husband. The doctors and my fellow patients were all amazed to see this. I knew very clearly in my heart, that my body could recover so quickly was God’s deed, God’s blessing and God’s love, for only God could make such a miracle happen!

Two weeks later, when I was being discharged from the hospital, the doctor said to me, “There are seven other people in this hospital with the same illness as you, and only yours was caused by diabetes. Your condition was more serious than theirs, and yet you are the first to recover. It really boggles the mind! There is still a lump in your pericardium, however, which remains a danger. You must come back to the hospital in a month’s time for a checkup. If this lump is still getting bigger, then you will have to have another operation.” Hearing the doctor say this, I no longer felt afraid or worried, and I thought to myself: “I’ve undergone such a grave illness and God did not cause me to die. I have seen God’s authority, and I now have even greater faith to rely on God. I’ll entrust my illness into God’s hands and let Him take control.” Afterward, the doctor prescribed me some medicine and I returned home. After I got home, I spent every day reading God’s words and singing God’s praises with brothers and sisters, enjoying God’s love. I felt so liberated and free, and my illness completely slipped my mind.

When I returned to the hospital for my checkup a month later, every physical indicator showed normal and the lump in my pericardium had disappeared. Once again, this allowed me to see God’s wondrous deeds and His love for me.

After Undergoing This Baptism, I Faced the Future Stronger Than Before

While in the car on the way home, I watched the tall white poplar trees go by on either side and I thought: “They are all under God’s sovereignty. They accept the baptism of wind, frost, snow and rain all year round and the life within them becomes even stronger and indomitable. This serious illness I’ve had has been like going through a life baptism; not only has it purified my love for God, but it has increased my faith in God.” I then thought of God’s words that say: “God’s life force can prevail over any power; moreover, it exceeds any power. His life is eternal, His power extraordinary, and His life force not easily overwhelmed by any created being or enemy force. The life force of God exists, and shines its brilliant radiance, regardless of time or place. God’s life remains forever unchanged throughout the upheavals of heaven and earth. All things pass away, but God’s life still remains, for God is the source of the existence of all things, and the root of their existence. Man’s life originates from God, the existence of the heaven is because of God, and the existence of the earth stems from the power of God’s life. No object possessed of vitality can transcend the sovereignty of God, and no thing with vigor can break away from the ambit of God’s authority” (“Only Christ of the Last Days Can Give Man the Way of Eternal Life” in The Word Appears in the Flesh). I couldn’t help but sigh with emotion: The authority and power of God’s words really are so great! In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth and everything in them with words, and because of God’s words, all things live and multiply within the rules predestined by God, one generation after another. In the last days, God expresses the entire truth that purifies and saves man, and even more so God’s truth is the root of our survival and the direction in which we must follow. When my life and death were hanging in the balance, God’s words gave me faith and courage. They enabled me to learn how to rely on God and look to God during my illness, they guided me to break through my fear of death and overcome the constraints of death. I really gained so much during this experience.

I wish only to believe in God and perform my duty in earnest for the rest of my life, and to repay God’s love and salvation. Thank You God!